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“You can have the things you want, but you have to be willing to do the work and get deeply uncomfortable at times.”
In this episode, I’m getting into the number-one unconscious lie I hear people tell in healing, growth, and business-building work, and how the ‘but’ that accompanies it keeps them stuck exactly where they’ve always been. Because most of the time, the thing standing between us and what we want isn’t that we don’t know what to do; it’s that there’s something we’re unwilling to feel, face, risk, or change in order to do it. And because our brains are incredibly good at protecting us from discomfort, they can make avoidance look like discernment, logic, timing, or even practicality. The result is that we can spend years believing we’re waiting for the right strategy, circumstance, opportunity, or version of ourselves, when what we’re actually doing is protecting ourselves from the very discomfort that would move us forward. If you believe you’d do anything for what you desire yet continue to see no results, and you’re ready to understand what’s happening internally that repeatedly holds you back, this episode is for you.
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What to listen for:
- The lie we tell when we say we’d do anything for the things we want
- Our subconscious attachment to staying in the known and familiar
- How our brains skillfully cover up our avoidance of discomfort
“Because our brains are so crafty at avoidance of the things that scare us, they will cause a feeling that we’ve learned over decades how to very skillfully navigate our way around and away from. And we’ll be so sure that we are making perfect, logical, reasonable sense in that moment.”
- You have to want the things you want more than you fear discomfort
- The best ‘strategy’ and ‘tactic’ for success is often the work you avoid
- We often can’t see the block because it’s wrapped up in our worldview
“When we feel like we’re self-sabotaging, when we feel like we’re just looping through the same thing over and over again, that means there is something internal that we need to work on.”
- Ongoing incremental change only takes us so far before we hit a wall
- Acknowledging the reasons we’re not yet a match for the things that we desire
- Why our stories and interpretations are the key to breaking free of our blocks
“Uncovering your story is powerful because if you can slow down and notice it and sit with the story, then you can actually work on it.”
- How this ‘but’ is limiting thought leaders from succeeding in their work
- Uncovering the next step to create alignment with what you desire
- The information that’s revealed when we’re honest with ourselves
Episode resources:
Connect with me on Instagram and LinkedIn.
Reach out to book a coaching consultation with me here.
Join me in my upcoming workshops on building personal capacity, transmuting what’s hard and what hurts, and becoming a forward-compatible leader by registering here.
About your host:
Stephenie Zamora is the Founder and Head Change Agent at Choose Your Calling, a new revolution in purpose, contribution, and creative solutions for systemic and social justice issues. She’s a Forward Compatibility Consultant and Mentor who has worked for the past two decades at the intersection of purpose, business, and systemic change, helping individuals, thought leaders, and organizations design lives and businesses that actually hold up in the world we’re moving into. Through her mentorship and consulting work, she partners with founders, social innovators, and visionaries who are designing bodies of work that disrupt systems of harm while actively building what the world needs next. Learn more at www.chooseyourcalling.com.